MAJOR ASHPOLE THE PERFECT CROSSWORD PUZZLE I didn’t start worrying about my life until I realized I was falling behind on getting my crosswords completed. There’s a lot of research to suggest that especially for older folks, crosswords are an important way to keep the brain in tiptop shape, and I can use all the exercise I can get. Of course, more recent studies suggest that crosswords don’t do much good at all, unless by “do much good” you mean “provide dependable mental masturbation.” Anyway, I decided to create the perfect crossword, one I could complete every day, even with my busy schedule, secure in the knowledge that even if it won’t help my brain stay as sharp as ever, I’ll at least be able to point to one accomplishment each day when my wife reminds me that other than napping, eating ice cream, and preparing my evening cocktail, she hasn’t seen me do a thing from sunrise to sunset. Feel free to use it as need arises. If you need an answer key, go to www.ufoinfocenter.net, and order the aluminum foil brain shield. Across 1. a letter of the alphabet Down 1. a letter of the alphabet

MAJOR ASHPOLE

THE PERFECT CROSSWORD PUZZLE

I didn’t start worrying about my life until I realized I was falling behind on getting my crosswords completed.

There’s a lot of research to suggest that especially for older folks, crosswords are an important way to keep the brain in tiptop shape, and I can use all the exercise I can get.

Of course, more recent studies suggest that crosswords don’t do much good at all, unless by “do much good” you mean “provide dependable mental masturbation.”

Anyway, I decided to create the perfect crossword, one I could complete every day, even with my busy schedule, secure in the knowledge that even if it won’t help my brain stay as sharp as ever, I’ll at least be able to point to one accomplishment each day when my wife reminds me that other than napping, eating ice cream, and preparing my evening cocktail, she hasn’t seen me do a thing from sunrise to sunset.

Feel free to use it as need arises.

If you need an answer key, go to www.ufoinfocenter.net, and order the aluminum foil brain shield.

Across

1. a letter of the alphabet

Down

1. a letter of the alphabet

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