by Paige Galleigh


And why I don’t like them

By Joy Behar

46 pages  $46.00  Exploit The View Press

   Here’s another Joy Behar instant memoir that’s sure to tug at your heartstrings if you are a similarly self-possessed neurotic shrew who thinks the world owes you pretty much everything on a platinum platter no matter how little talent you have or how little you’re willing to give back in return.

   In a typical example of the kind of “I can understand why I’m so beloved” self-discovery that instructs each profile here, Ms. Behar is the victim of a deli clerk who accidentally leaves the cover of a quart of matzo ball soup slightly askew, resulting in “a bag that sloshed chicken broth onto the paper that held what might have been a perfectly delicious cheese Danish, but my maid was off so there was no one to remove the icky wrapping once I got home, and now I’ll never know what that Danish was meant to bring into my life.”

   Feeling the pain yet?

   Of the deli clerk himself, Ms. Behar writes, “How can you forgive someone who gets up at three in the morning for minimum wage pay and doesn’t realize that his carelessness can damage the lives of those who must labor under the weight of seven figure contracts to create entertainment that lifts the spirits of millions?”

   If you’re thinking “Tears on My Pillow,” make sure it’s covered in a 960 thread-count Martha Stewart linen.

   One wonders why the book presents exactly 100 violators of Behar’s world, which divides pretty much everyone into either a naturally devoted sycophant or a cruel tormentor.  It’s hard not to assume that we’ve been set up here for a sequel, a thought that surely brings tears to this reviewer’s eyes (perhaps 100 People Who Made Me Realize Why I’m God’s Gift To Entertainment or 100 People Who Love To Serve Me, And Who Could Blame Them? or 100 People Who Think They Have A Reason To Be Angry With Me But No One Has That Right or even 100 People Who Made Me Laugh And Why I Hate Them For Being Funnier Than I’ll Ever Be).


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